WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT
FAKE NEWS FOOTBALL
Week 1 · Game 4 of 6

Comrade Gritty's
vs
Iron Jayden

Iron Jayden won. Comrade Gritty's lost. The group chat has opinions.

Final: Iron Jayden 129.6 – 112.6 Comrade Gritty's

Iron Jayden took care of Comrade Gritty's 129.6 to 112.6. A professional win. No notes, except the ones we're taking, which say 'Comrade Gritty's might want to check the waiver wire.'

Tale of the Tape

Comrade Gritty'sIron Jayden
Roots For Philadelphia Eagles logo Philadelphia Eagles San Francisco 49ers logo San Francisco 49ers
The ManagerMikhail (Brooklyn, NY)John (Seattle, WA)
League Titles0 — still chasing0 — still waiting
Record0-32-1
Points For291.3384.9
Points Against463.5358.5
Two-Week Average100.1130.7
Trend (Wk2 − Wk1)-25.0+2.2
Season High112.6131.8
Final112.6129.6

Keys to the Game

Our analysts watched zero film

Why Comrade Gritty's lost it

  1. Final: Iron Jayden 129.6 – 112.6 Comrade Gritty's. A solid, professional win.
  2. Not enough. Comrade Gritty's managed 112.6 against a 100.1 average — above their usual output — and it still wasn't enough.
  3. On to next week. The FNF Model has already forgotten this game. The group chat has not.

How Iron Jayden won it

  1. Final: Iron Jayden 129.6 – 112.6 Comrade Gritty's. A solid, professional win.
  2. Winning football. Iron Jayden put up 129.6 against a 130.7 average — below their usual output — and still got it done.
  3. On to next week. The FNF Model has already forgotten this game. The group chat has not.

The Debate Desk

🔥 Hot Take Hank
Picks Iron Jayden

17.0 points. That's not a win, that's a message. Iron Jayden hung 129.6 on Comrade Gritty's and never let it get interesting. 131.8 is the season high now, and the rest of the league just quietly updated their threat board.

📊 Spreadsheet Steve
Picks Iron Jayden

Final: 129.6–112.6. What stands out isn't just the margin — it's the direction. Iron Jayden are trending +2.2 across two weeks at a 130.7 average; Comrade Gritty's are going -25.0. One of those arrows points at the playoffs. The other points at the waiver wire.

← All Week 1 games Comrade Gritty's Iron Jayden

Smack Talk

keep it clean-ish

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