WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Marnie

Managed by Marnie · Ranked #2 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

3–0

Points For

438.9

Points Against

396.6

Streak

W-3

The Manager

Verified human (allegedly)

Marnie · Portland, OR · Seattle Seahawks fan · A few years in the league

Won the whole thing in 2024 — not the reigning champ, but the one before that — and has carried herself like it ever since. A Seahawks fan holding down the Pacific Northwest.

League titles: 1 (2024)

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 144.0 points per game (Week 1: 138.6, Week 2: 149.3), a +10.7 trend, season high of 149.3 and a floor of 138.6. The arrow is pointing sideways.

Sitting at 3-0, Marnie are the definition of mid — which in this league means one monster week from total glory or total collapse. There is no in-between. There never is.

They lead the league with 438.9 points scored (146.3 per game). The offense is putting up video game numbers. The defense — by which we mean their opponents' inability to stop them — deserves a raise.

Riding a W-3 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

Homer watch: Marnie is repping Seattle Seahawks with Jaxon Smith-Njigba on the roster. Drafting with your heart is a strategy. It's just not a good one.

Marnie has the quiet confidence of someone whose team is good and knows it. The rest of the league has noticed. The rest of the league is annoyed.

The difference-makers: Geno Smith, Omarion Hampton, Breece Hall, Jaxon Smith-Njigba. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Marnie can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We're not rebuilding. We're pre-building. There's a difference. We'll explain later.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · NYJ

Geno Smith

Week 3 vs DET: Detroit allows the most QB fantasy points, is down four defensive backs (Branch, Joseph, Maddox, Harper), and Smith is FantasyPros' DFS value play of the week.

QB · LAC

Justin Herbert

Week 3 vs BUF: Buffalo allows the 4th-highest passing success rate.

RB · LAC

Omarion Hampton

Week 3 vs BUF: Buffalo allows the 5th-most RB points and ranks 30th in run EPA.

RB · NYJ

Breece Hall

Week 3 vs DET: a middle-of-the-pack DET defense.

WR · SEA

Jaxon Smith-Njigba

Week 3 vs WAS: Washington allows a league-high 75% deep-ball completion rate — though Seattle's QB situation is in flux.

WR · WAS

Terry McLaurin

Week 3 vs SEA: faces Seattle's No. 2 scoring defense with backup Marcus Mariota at QB.

The Roster

17 players, 15 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Geno Smith	NYJ	A cornerstone. Of something.
RB	Omarion Hampton	LAC	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
RB	Breece Hall	NYJ	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
WR	Jaxon Smith-Njigba	SEA	A warm body with a helmet.
WR	Terry McLaurin	WAS	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Courtland Sutton	DEN	A warm body with a helmet.
TE	Travis Kelce	KC	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
RB	Chuba Hubbard	CAR	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
QB	Justin Herbert	LAC	A cornerstone. Of something.
QB	Caleb Williams	CHI	On the roster. Technically.
TE	Kyle Pitts Sr.	ATL	A cornerstone. Of something.
RB	Jaylen Warren	PIT	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Khalil Shakir	BUF	The glue guy. The glue is old.
RB	Tyjae Spears	TEN	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
WR	Tank Dell	HOU	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
K	Spencer Shrader	IND	Certified bucket-getter.
DEF	Chiefs	KC	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Screamin' Scoobies	W	138.6 – 131.2	Survived by the skin of their teeth. Teeth remain.
Week 2	Conspiracy Theory	W	149.3 – 141.9	Survived by the skin of their teeth. Teeth remain.
Week 3	MrBigChest'sWildRide	W	151.0 – 123.6	Handled business. Business has been handled.

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