WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT
FAKE NEWS FOOTBALL
TP

Trick Play Kristen

Managed by Kristen · Ranked #3 in the Fake News Power Rankings
Record
2–1
Points For
437.8
Points Against
333.5
Streak
W-2

The Manager

Verified human (allegedly)

Kristen · Chicago, IL — originally Buffalo · Buffalo Bills fan · First year in the league

A league rookie and a card-carrying member of Bills Mafia who lives, breathes, and dies by the Buffalo Bills. Tailgates hard. Already has the highest single week of the season, so the veterans are officially on notice.

League titles: 0 — rookie season

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 148.6 points per game (Week 1: 124.7, Week 2: 172.5), a +47.8 trend, season high of 172.5 and a floor of 124.7. The arrow is pointing straight up.

At 2-1, Trick Play Kristen are one of the league's last unbeatens. The parade route is being planned. The parade will be one guy in a jersey honking a horn, but still.

Riding a W-2 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

Homer watch: Kristen is repping Buffalo Bills with James Cook III, Dalton Kincaid on the roster. Drafting with your heart is a strategy. It's just not a good one.

Team sources confirm the manager's love for Josh Allen remains the most stable relationship in this league. The roster is built around vibes and quarterback worship, and honestly? Respect.

The difference-makers: Jacoby Brissett, James Cook III, Bucky Irving, Chris Olave. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Trick Play Kristen can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We didn't choose the mid life, the mid life chose us.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays
QB · ARI
Jacoby Brissett
Week 3: no strong matchup read on the sheet.
QB · HOU
C.J. Stroud
Week 3 vs IND: a middle-of-the-pack IND defense.
RB · BUF
James Cook III
Week 3 vs LAC: a middle-of-the-pack LAC defense.
RB · TB
Bucky Irving
Week 3 vs MIN: a middle-of-the-pack MIN defense.
WR · NO
Chris Olave
Week 3 vs LV: a middle-of-the-pack LV defense.
WR · DEN
Jaylen Waddle
Week 3 vs LAR: a middle-of-the-pack LAR defense.

The Roster

15 players, 13 of whom have names we recognize
PosPlayerNFL TeamFake News Grade
QBJacoby BrissettARIThe glue guy. The glue is old.
RBJames Cook IIIBUFThe manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
RBBucky IrvingTBBye-week hero, every-week zero.
WRChris OlaveNOA cornerstone. Of something.
WRJaylen WaddleDENThe glue guy. The glue is old.
WRJalen CokerCARThe manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
TEDalton KincaidBUFCertified bucket-getter.
RBBhayshul TutenJAXA cornerstone. Of something.
QBC.J. StroudHOUA warm body with a helmet.
TESam LaPortaDETCertified bucket-getter.
RBKeaton MitchellLACVibes are immaculate. Production is not.
WRKayshon BoutteHOUThe manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WRZay FlowersBALVibes are immaculate. Production is not.
KTyler LoopBALVibes are immaculate. Production is not.
DEFVikingsMINOn the roster. Technically.

Game Log

WeekOpponentResultScoreNarrative
Week 1 MrBigChest is a buccing curse. L 124.7 – 139.6 A loss. The film has been burned.
Week 2 Comrade Gritty's W 172.5 – 87.6 A certified shellacking. The opponent's family was notified.
Week 3 THOR W 140.6 – 106.3 Handled business. Business has been handled.
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